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Alright, listen up, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, deep voice rollin’ like thunder, sittin’ you down to talk about findin’ a prostitute. Now, I’m an actuary, right? Numbers, risks, probabilities—that’s my jam. So when I think about this, I’m calculatin’ odds, weighin’ chances, and damn, it’s a wild ride. Picture this: I’m strollin’ through Brooklyn, 1950s vibe, like in my fave flick *Brooklyn*—you know, that John Crowley joint from 2015. Eilis, she’s all “I’ve got to do this alone,” leavin’ Ireland, chasin’ dreams. Me? I’m chasin’ somethin’ else tonight.

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FIND THEMSELVES. TESTIFYING IN COURT CONCERNING PREDICTIONS OF DAN FUCHU, TOKYO, JAPAN. 9 p. NCJ· THE NATURE AND EXTENT OF CRIMINAL.

Then, outta nowhere, my boss walks in. He’s all serious, like he just swallowed a lemon. He’s like, “We got a problem!” I’m thinking, “Great, what now?” Turns out, there’s this big project on the Fuchu River. They need our help to prevent corrosion. I’m like, “Sweet, let’s do this!”

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