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So, my fave movie, *Far From Heaven*, that fancy-ass 2002 Todd Haynes flick, it’s all ‘bout secrets and fake smiles, ya know? Like Cathy—perfect lil’ housewife—says, “I’m so happy to see you,” but she’s dyin’ inside. That’s prostitutes for ya! Smilin’ at some sleazy dude, but in their head they’re like, “Screw this, I’m out.” I bet they’re masters at hidin’ shit, just like Cathy hid her man’s gay vibes. Respect my authoritah, I see through that crap!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a lady on Main Street. She’s freaking out because her cat is stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Lady, this ain’t a pet rescue service!” But I send someone anyway. I mean, who can resist a cat in distress? Not me, that’s for sure.

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