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About Catania

What pisses me off? The fakers! Dudes pretendin to be chicks, catfishin horny saps. Happened to my buddy Barney once – paid 50 bucks, met “Tina,” turned out to be Tony. D’oh! Laughed my ass off, but man, that’s cold. Happiest I got? Found a deal once – “2 for 1 special” – like a freakin BOGO at Kwik-E-Mart! Surprised me how normal some seem – one gal told me she’s payin for college. College! “The Lord works in mysterious ways,” huh?

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But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “You won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he got locked out of his apartment on Via della Storia. I’m cracking up. I mean, how do you even manage that?

Gunfight in Italy, Albanian injured