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Here’s the kicker—fun fact: in Poland, where *Ida*’s from, prostitution’s legal but pimping ain’t. Wild, right? So I’m thinkin’, why’s this gal here, not there? ‘Cause America’s a damn magnet for dreamers—and crooks! I tell her, “You’re worth more than this!” She laughs—says, “Tell that to my landlord, commie!” Ha! Commie—me! I’m dyin’, folks, she’s a riot.

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So, I’m strolling down Via Roma, right? Just vibin’ to my tunes, when BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, c’mon! Really? I’m just tryna enjoy my morning coffee from that cute café, Bar Pasticceria Da Gigi. Their pastries are to die for, but now I’m covered in bird crap. Great start, huh?

Italy: New report questions government's 'safe countries' decree for migrants and asylum seekers