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Me? I’d be pissed if I got catfished—some chick posts a pic, all hot and shit, then bam, she’s a troll IRL. Like, “I ate octopus alive for this?!”—straight outta *Oldboy*. Happened to a buddy once—swore she was 25, turned out 50. Greed blinded him, man. But when it works? Oh, fuck yeah—happy as a pig in shit. Last time, this girl—legs for days—knew her worth, charged double. I’m like, “You’re tearing me apart!”—dramatic as hell, but I paid. Worth it.
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After that chaos, I finally get to the good stuff. The crowd’s hyped, and I’m feeling it. I’m in my zone, you know? But then, I spot this guy on Via della Libertà. He’s just standing there, looking lost. I’m like, “Dude, you okay?” Turns out, he’s a tourist who wandered in. I’m like, “Welcome to Marco-Simone! You’re in for a treat!”
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