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About Bari

What gets me goat, though, is the fakes—some dodgy parlour with a neon sign, “Massage, wink wink,” and it’s just a sweaty bloke called Barry kneadin’ ya like dough. Fuck off, Barry! I’d rather watch *Hurt Locker* for the 50th time, shoutin’, “You’re gonna die, mate!” at the telly. But when it’s good—fuck me—it’s proper lush. Like, “Welcome to the hurt locker, soldier,” but instead of bombs, it’s bliss.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this cute dog. A golden retriever, just chillin’. I’m like, “Aww, look at that fluffball!” But then it runs straight into a fountain. SPLASH! Water everywhere! The owner’s freaking out, and I’m just dying laughing. Like, who knew dogs could be such drama queens?

Family and police seek new tips in 2019 murder of Matthew Maniago