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About Turin

Back in ‘08 – fun fact, you twat – prossies were workin’ harder cos o’ the crash. Economy shat itself, so they’re out there, grindin’. Kinda sad, innit? But I’m buzzin’ cos I love a challenge – like Batman chasin’ chaos! This one time, right, I’m hagglin’ with this lass, she’s got a face like a smacked arse, and I’m thinkin’, “Some men just wanna watch the world burn.” I didn’t pay her, nah, cos I ain’t that desperate, you prat!

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After that, I head over to the Parco della Valle. It’s this beautiful park, perfect for a breather. I’m sittin’ on a bench, just takin’ it all in. Kids are runnin’ around, dogs are barkin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, a squirrel decides to make a run for my backpack. I’m like, “Dude, back off! I’m not sharing my snacks!” I swear, that little guy had some serious guts.

Ten years ago, the Gurone Dyke was born