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About Bari

You got these girls, right? Standin’ on corners, fishnets up to their asses, smokin’ Pall Malls like it’s 1985. I roll up, window down, and it’s like, “What am I, a fuckin’ ATM?” Prices nowadays—Madonn’, inflation’s hittin’ the hookers too! Back in the day, you’d slip ‘em a twenty, maybe a meatball sub, and boom, done deal. Now they want fifty, sixty, talkin’ bout “gas prices.” Bitch, you ain’t drivin’ nowhere, you’re standin’ there! Made me mad as hell, but I laugh—fuck it, it’s Jersey, whaddya expect?

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First stop, the office. I work as a financial analyst, which sounds fancy, but really, it’s just me staring at spreadsheets all day. But today? Oh boy, today was different. I got to the office on Via Cavour, and my boss, Marco, was already in a mood. He’s always in a mood, but today he was like a volcano ready to erupt. Turns out, our biggest client, some big-shot company from Parma, decided to pull out last minute. Like, what the heck?!

Emilia Romagna: they keep a welcome in these hillsides