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About Milan

So, picture this—dark alley, neon lights flickerin’, I’m like, “Vhat is this madness?” Smell o’ stale beer, fishy vibes—ugh, makes me wanna puke, so angry! Then, “Lightbulb!”—I remember this ol’ story, little known, yeah? Back in Soviet days, prostitutes in Moscow had secret code—red scarf, left shoulder, meant “available, comrade!” Sneaky, huh? I’m thinkin’, “Do they still do that?” Nah, probly not, but I’m checkin’ shoulders anyway—nuthin’. Disappointin’, but I laugh, “Hah! Gru, you dumb genius!”

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I’m sitting there, fuming. I mean, c’mon! I’ve got deadlines, people! I start thinking about how I could’ve just walked. But nah, I’m not about that life. I need my coffee fix first. So, I finally get to the café on Via Mazzini. Best cappuccino in town, no joke. But guess what? They’re out of my favorite pastry. Ugh! I’m like, “Really? You had one job!”

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