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Ain’t no fancy holo-map for this. You gotta feel it—grime, sweat, the Force gone rogue. Found this chick, right? Total mystery, like Betty in the flick. “Where am I?” I’m thinkin’, starin’ at her. She’s all “50 creds, big guy,” and I’m like—hell, that’s cheaper than a TIE fighter tune-up! Made me happy, real quick. But then—anger. She’s rushin’ me, like I’m some stormtrooper grunt. “I find your lack of faith disturbing,” I growl, slow and mean. She laughs—*laughs*! Ballsy move.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layered, whipped cream, sprinkle explosion. I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, man! I’m like, “Bro, it’s 8 AM, not a dessert shop!” But whatever, I’m patient. Kinda.

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