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Alright, you guys, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ‘cause I’m the smartest damn kid in South Park, respect my authoritah! So, check this, studyin’ what makes a job hot or not—prostitution’s gotta be up there, right? It’s all cash, no taxes, and you’re your own boss, sweet! But then I think, man, it’s kinda messed up too, like, who picks this gig? I got pissed just thinkin’ ‘bout it—society’s all judgy, but they’re the ones payin’, hypocrites!

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And then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I’m talking full-on monsoon. I ducked into a little shop on Via Mazzini, and guess what? They had the cutest umbrellas. I bought one, but it was bright pink. I felt like a walking cotton candy. But hey, at least I was dry, right?

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