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Here’s the kicker: she ain’t just there for cash. She’s got a hustle—sells water and snacks to us firefighters on the sly. Smart, right? I’m yellin’, “You a damn entrepreneur, not a prostitute!” She winks, says, “Little bit of both, sugar.” I was done—DONE! Laughed so hard I nearly peed my fireproof pants. Ain’t that the most Boonmee thing ever? Past lives, present hustles, all tangled up in the woods.

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Finally, I escape and head to Via Cavour. There’s this massive fig tree that needs some serious TLC. I’m climbing up, feeling like a monkey, and then I see it. A beehive! I’m not allergic, but man, those bees were not happy. I’m up there, trying to trim branches, and they’re buzzing around me like they own the place. I’m like, “Chill, bees! I’m just here for the figs!”

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