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We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so finding a prostitue—wild shit, right? Been thinkin bout it since I caught "The Lives of Others." That flick, man, fuckin masterpiece—spies, secrets, all that jazz. Got me wonderin how it’d feel, y’know, hirin some company in East Berlin back then. Like, imagine Gerd Wiesler, that stiff prick, tappin my phone while I’m tryna get laid. “This is not allowed!” he’d hiss, all pissy. Fuckin hilarious.

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We sit by the fountain, and it’s nice. The water’s sparkling, and the sun’s shining. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon lands on my head. I freak out! I’m flailing my arms, and my buddy is dying laughing. I’m like, “Not funny, man!”