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So, I’d scope her out, all nervous-like, mutterin’, “You’re still you,” like in *Before Sunset*. Total sap move, but it’d slip out—Homer’s heart’s big, ya know? She’d prolly laugh, say, “Twenty bucks, tubby.” Fair. I’d be sweatin’, thinkin’ bout Marge catchin’ me—ooh, that’d be a paddlin’! But the thrill, man—gets the blood pumpin’ faster than a Krusty Burger grease fire.

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So, I’m tryin’ to get my sheep sorted, and I trip over a rock. Ouch! I’m on the ground, and Fluffy McFluffface is just starin’ at me like, “Dude, you good?” I’m like, “Yeah, just havin’ a moment with nature.”

Figure 2. South-east flank of the Eyrarfjall mountain above the town of...