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About Beersheba

Alright, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, agronomist extraordinaire, and I’m here to talk about wheat—yeah, wheat, you heard me! Respect my authoritah! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *The Hurt Locker*, and how wheat’s like a damn bomb waitin’ to go off in yer stupid fields. Seriouslah, wheat’s a sneaky lil’ whore, ain’t it? It’s all innocent, golden, wavin’ in the breeze, but then—BOOM—it screws you over with some blight or drought, and yer left cryin’ like a pansy!

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After that, I’m feeling pretty good. I grab lunch at my fave spot on Makkabbim Street. The falafel there is to die for! But then, I overhear this lady talking about her parrot. Apparently, it learned some swear words. I’m like, “Wow, that’s a talent!” But then she says it’s been cursing at her kids. I can’t help but chuckle. I mean, who knew parrots could be such little troublemakers?

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