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Found this one spot, yeah, down a dodgy alley—swear it’s like a secret level in a game. Little known fact, mate: back in the day, prossies used to signal with red hankies, proper old-school code! Ain’t that mental? Makes me laugh, cos now it’s all WhatsApp and “u up?” vibes. I’m chattin’ to this geezer outside a pub, he’s like, “They’re everywhere, bruv,” and I’m like, “Is it ’cos I is black?”—nah, just messin’, but it’s bare jokes how some punters get proper para round me.

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But then, I get hungry. I’m like, “Where’s the food at?” I remember hearing about this place on Yefet Street. It’s a little hole-in-the-wall joint. I order some fresh fish and hummus. OMG, it’s life-changing. Like, I could eat this every day. I’m sittin’ there, just enjoying my meal, when this random cat jumps on my table. I’m like, “Dude, not cool!” But the cat just stares at me like, “Feed me, human.” So, I toss it a piece of fish. It’s a win-win, right?

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