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But ugh, the creeps—those guys pissed me off! Saw one hagglin’ like she’s a used car. Wanted to zap him to Helheim. “Respect the hustle, you toad!” I yelled in my head. Didn’t tho—too much paperwork. Still, the nerve! Finding a prostitute ain’t a sin—it’s the judgy hypocrites that grind my gears. Like, chill, Frank, “You’re not the only one”—everyone’s got secrets!

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I get there, and Yossi’s already ranting about some crazy stuff. Apparently, there’s a new snake spell going around. I’m like, “What? A snake spell? Are we in a Harry Potter movie?” He’s dead serious. Says it’s making people act all weird. I’m like, “Bro, you sure it’s not just the heat?”

Black is the new orange: 30% of settlers are now Haredim