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Oh, and funny story—knew a guy, swore his “date” was a senator’s niece. Bullshit, total bullshit, but he paid triple—sucker! Cracked me up, dumbass. Anyway, findin’ a prostitute? Piece o’ cake if you’re smart, real smart—like me, Donald J. Trump, the greatest. “Silence is her voice,” movie says—kinda fits, y’know? They’re there, quiet, waitin’. Wild world, folks, wild world!

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Finally, I get home, and my mom’s already cooking. The smell of schnitzel fills the air. I’m like, “Okay, maybe I can forgive her.” We sit down, and she starts asking about my day. I tell her about the snake spell, and she’s like, “You kids and your stories.” I’m like, “Mom, it’s real!” But she just rolls her eyes. Classic.

Five largest Israeli settlements: who lives there, and why