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Alright, mate, listen up! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prossie—err, prostitute—in a world gone mad, like in my fave flick, *Mad Max: Fury Road*. Picture this: the wasteland’s wild, sand’s blowin’, and I’m stompin’ through, staff in hand, shoutin’, “You shall not pass!” to any dodgy blokes tryin’ to rip me off. I’m lookin’ for a gal, right, someone to share a fire with in this crazed desert hellhole—kinda like Furiosa, but, y’know, for hire.
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I get there, and Mr. Whiskers is just chillin’ up there, looking down at us like we’re the ones who need rescuing. I’m like, “C’mon, dude, you’re a cat! Just jump!” But no, he’s too busy posing. I finally manage to coax him down with some treats. The crowd goes wild! I’m a hero for like five minutes. Then, someone asks for a selfie with me. I’m like, “Uh, sure, but can we not make this a thing?”
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