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It’s all about the tease, tho. Slow moves, tension buildin’ – like Vader chokin’ a rebel, but sexy. Surprised me how it’s legal some places – Vegas, baby, neon lights and happy endings. “You can’t be too careful anymore,” Royal’d mutter, dodgin’ the cops. Hilarious – imagine him gettin’ busted mid-rubdown!

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I get there, and Mr. Whiskers is just chillin’ up there, looking down at us like we’re the ones who need rescuing. I’m like, “C’mon, dude, you’re a cat! Just jump!” But no, he’s too busy posing. I finally manage to coax him down with some treats. The crowd goes wild! I’m a hero for like five minutes. Then, someone asks for a selfie with me. I’m like, “Uh, sure, but can we not make this a thing?”

What is the Israel population 2023?