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*rasps* My precious! Findin’ a prossie, eh? We wants it, don’t we? Sleazy streets, dim lights—perfect huntin’! Saw this bird once, right, totterin’ in heels, skirt so short it’s basically a belt! Reminds me o’ *Margaret*, y’know? “The world’s so fuckin’ unfair!” she’d scream—ha! Prossies get that, don’t they, precious? Life’s a mess, all sloppy an’ raw.

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So, I’m walking back, feeling good, when I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer on the corner of the square. This guy is playing the fiddle like he’s possessed! I’m talking serious talent. I stopped to watch, and before I knew it, I was clapping along. The crowd was loving it. I felt like I was in a movie or something.

Portlaoise is buzzing with beautiful biodiversity plan