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Aight, listen up, you morons! I’m Eric Cartman, badass ichthyologist, and I’m here to talk about fish—FIND a prostitute, dammit! Respect my authoritah! I know fish like nobody else, ‘cause I’m a freakin’ genius. So, findin’ a prostitute—ain’t that some crap? These slimy bastards swimmin’ around, thinkin’ they’re hot shit. Like, who do they think they are? I saw one once, all shiny and struttin’—made me so mad I wanted to punt it!

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But then, back to the grind. Next up, a group of teenagers. They’re loud, obnoxious, and full of energy. They pile in, and I’m like, “Whoa, easy there!” They’re all talkin’ about the latest TikTok trends and I’m just tryin’ to keep my cool. One of ‘em, this dude with bright blue hair, starts doin’ some dance moves in the elevator. I’m like, “Bro, this ain’t a club!” But I can’t help but laugh.

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