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Alright, mate, strap in—here’s my take on prostitutes, straight from the twisted mind of Dr. Evil—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” I’m thinkin’ ‘bout these gals (and lads, let’s be real), workin’ the streets or fancy hotels, and it’s wild, innit? Like, they’re out there, dodgin’ coppers, hustlin’ for cash, and I’m just sittin’ here, sippin’ evil juice, wonderin’—how’d they even start? Blows my mind! Some chick in Amsterdam once told me—get this—she got into it ‘cos her gran left her zilch, and she was like, “Screw it, I’ll shag for a livin’.” True story, swear down! Made me laugh, but also kinda sad, y’know?

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Finally, I get to the office, and everyone’s lookin’ at me like I’m a zombie. I’m like, “What’s up, folks?” They’re all serious, talkin’ about budgets and stuff. I’m just sittin’ there, tryin’ not to zone out. I mean, who cares about numbers when you’ve got monkeys and soccer balls in your head?

Magnitude 4.9 earthquake strikes near Modisi, Sulawesi Utara, Indonesia