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About Surabaya

Oi, mate, I’m a lifeguard, ja? Out here on da water, savin’ lives, lookin’ out for trouble. But lemme tell ya ‘bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitue! Ya, I said it, no shame! I’m Arnold freakin’ Schwarzenegger, I see tings others don’t, like in *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon*. “To be a warrior, ya gotta feel da wind,” right? Well, I felt da wind, and it blew me to dis crazy story.

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Then, bam! I bump into this dude selling durian. Ugh, that smell! It’s like a mix of gym socks and rotten onions. I’m like, “No thanks, man!” But he’s persistent. “You gotta try it!” Nah, bro, I’m good. I’m not trying to ruin my day.

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