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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no BS. Imagine this, ok? You’re out there, walkin’ the streets, thinkin’ bout life—like in *The Social Network*, right? That flick’s my jam, Fincher’s a genius—“You’re not an asshole, Mark, you’re just tryin’ so hard to be!”—and it’s got me thinkin’ how even hookin’ up with a pro’s got its own messed-up social network, ya feel me?

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But then, this old lady comes outta nowhere. She’s like, “Get up, young man! You’re fine!” And I’m thinkin’, “Wow, she’s got guts!” The guy gets up, brushes himself off, and everyone starts clappin’. I’m like, “What just happened?” Kalianget’s got its quirks, man.

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