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I ask her rate—fuck, it’s steep! “You’re chargin’ what?!” I’m mad, but she’s cool, “Quality costs, ET.” Fair. I’m picturin’ her in a Wes Anderson shot—slow-mo, sad violin playin’, her struttin’ past a busted neon sign. “I always wanted to be somebody,” she says, quotin’ Margot’s vibe. Deep, man. Makes me wonder—how’d she end up here? Prolly some tragic backstory, like Royal ditchin’ the fam.

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Man, what a day! Zsambek, you wild beast! I woke up thinking it’d be chill. Nope. Not even close. First off, I spilled coffee all over my favorite shirt. Classic, right? I mean, who needs a clean shirt anyway?

VISUALS: 800-year-old Árpád Age church close to Budapest might be rebuilt, but it may lose its charm