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So, here’s the deal—findin’ a prostitute ain’t rocket science. Back in the day, you’d cruise the shady streets, dodgin’ cops, lookin’ for that wink or that lean against a lamppost. Now? It’s all online, baby—apps, sites, boom! You swipe, you tap, you’re done. Kinda like “the algorithm’s what’s hot,” like Sean Parker says in the movie. But lemme tell ya, it pisses me off—where’s the grit, the hustle? These days, it’s too clean, too easy, like a freakin’ Uber for sex! I miss the old-school vibe—makes me wanna yell, “Don’t pee on my leg, callin’ this authentic!”

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But then, I get back to the clinic, and it’s chaos. A lady storms in with a parrot. Yes, a parrot! She’s freaking out, saying it won’t stop squawking. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a parrot. That’s what they do!” But she’s not having it. I’m trying to calm her down, but she’s all over the place. I’m thinking, “This is why I don’t do birds.”

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