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Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Yeah, lonely hearts get desperate, it’s hilarious! I was on there once, scrollin’, and this chick’s like, “DTF, no strings.” Straight up! I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, love, at least buy me dinner first!” Got me mad, tho—where’s the chase, the thrill? Everyone’s so damn lazy now. Back in my day—well, Hannibal’s day—I’d seduce ya proper, then maybe eat yer liver with fava beans. Classy, yeah?

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I get kinda mad sometimes when tourists ignore the little enclaves – like the side streets behind the main square where history sits in every brick. Ignorance makes me wanna shout, "There will be blood!" but hey, I keep it cool.

African Cup of Nations | African goals in Europe: 24-25 Jan