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About Lahti

In my head, I’m quotin’, “Humanity’s done, we’re finished!”—Alfonso knew what’s up! Joe’s cryin’, I’m sasssin’, “Shoulda stayed home, sugar!” Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, y’all—it’s a gamble, and Joe lost big. Moral o’ the story? Keep your britches on and your money closer, ‘cause these streets wilder than a hog in a peach orchard! Halleluyer!

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Oh man, Ullanlinna is posh AF, with narrow streets like Hovinsaari Road – wait, is that even right? But whatevs, it's all fancy, ya know? And then there’s the epic Esplanadi boulevard – wowee, it flows into the Market Square near the harbor. I once stood there, all dreamy, thinkin’ “what a world, mate,” just like that scene in "4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days," when everything seems so absurdly complex yet so real – like… “it’s a whirlwind, ain't it?”… mumblin’ like Mr. Bean, y’see.

Helsinki court orders seizure of Russian properties