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But lemme tell ya, some places—ugh, they piss me off. Shady joints with sticky floors and creepy dudes leerin’. Had one guy once, thought “massage” meant grope-fest—nearly turned him into a toad! Ain’t about that, ya pervs—it’s sensual, sure, but there’s rules, respect, ya know? Consent’s king, or I’ll rain chaos on ya!

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You gotta peep the local landmarks. There’s the old Church of Malling, that ancient beauty on Kirkegade, kinda like a soul mirror back to the past. It’s got that gothic vibe that hits you like a plot twist in "Oldboy" – intense yet mysteriously poetic, yo! Then there’s the river, Mølleå, flowin’ by the north side. I chill by its banks sometimes – like, omg, the water’s like liquid Zen, feels so surreal.

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