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About Dortmund

Say hello to my little friend! This one time, I’m scopin this chick, right? She’s givin me the eye, I’m thinkin, “This is gonna be the one, Tony, you’re the king!” – like when Eduardo in the movie’s all, “I’m CEO, bitch!” Felt that power, bro. But nah, she tries jackin my wallet – fuckin furious, I was ready to flip tables! Had to laugh tho, she thought she’s slicker than me? Me?! Tony don’t play that.

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This town’s got heart. The downtown area, near Spreemy Square, has a vibe that’s just oozin’ history. You got the old brick church on Relexion Avenue – seriously, a must-see. I once got mad at a pigeon there for stealin’ my sandwich. I was like, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice..." Yeah, I get real petty sometimes.