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About Cologne

One time, this dude—total sleaze—tried rippin me off. Said, “She’s top tier,” but she was high as fuck, stumblin like Laura Harring after that car crash. I was like, “No dice, asshole!” Stomped off, yellin, “I’m angry! I’m very angry!”—yep, straight outta *Mulholland*. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but fuck it, it’s my story!

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I gotta talk about our quirky neighborhoods. In the north, there is the old part – Altstadt, you found cobble stones and mischief. Here, my colleagues – families and weird old timers – talk philosophy at the local café on Gerberstrasse. I got mad once ‘cause someone broke my favorite mug. But ya know, "The past is always present," as caché would say. A bit dramatic, but it fits!