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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! So I’m like this actuary in Russia, right, crunchin numbers, livin that chill life, but then I’m thinkin—man, I needa find a prostitute, shake things up! Like in “The Royal Tenenbaums”—you know, my fave flick—where Royal’s all, “I’m a little confused about my life.” That’s me, but with vodka and snow. Anyway, findin a prozzie here? Wild stuff.

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In yon walkway by Eclipse Park, the trees doth whisper, “I don’t know how to help you,” yet feel thou the embrace of nature as thou wanderest among emerald paths. During twilight, on 62nd Avenue, I find my solace. Here, beings tread lightly on soft grass, and I rest my aching limbs after a long day of soothing muscles, reminding me of the fragile nature of man’s pain.

Spruce Grove Set to Host Spring Carnival Fundraiser at Historic Grain Elevator