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About Montreal

Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

Shatterday

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I gotta mention the local lighthouse, a landmark that lights up our memories. Folks say it’s been watchin’ over Goderich for ages. Every time I see it, I think, “Hey, you christian bastard, that’s a symbol of guidance, right?” (yeah I know, kinda edgy, but it feels true). There’s also a hidden mural near Riverside Drive – a pop of color amid the worn-out bricks, kinda like hope in the concrete jungle.

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