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In my head, I’m overthinkin’ – is this dodgy? Am I a ledge or a prat? But nah, it’s chill. Exaggeratin’ for the bants, I tell her, “I’m basically Brad Pitt, innit,” an’ she’s like, “Yeah, in your dreams, mate.” Proper savage, love that. So, we sort it – quick, messy, fun – an’ I’m walkin’ away, buzzin’. “I want to weep,” I mutter, movie-style, but I’m grinnin’ like a nutter.

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Now, lemme spill a secret – I found a hidden gem near the old railway station, a wee park tucked behind industrial crap. Best for a quiet moment when ya need a breather after a day of kneadin’ back skeletons. I swear, it’s like Remy whisperin’ his secret recipe: "Anyone can cook!" but here, anyone can relax too – man, miracle moment, like my clients melt off every hiss of stress.

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