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So I walk, streets dirty, smell like goat ass, but I see her—prostitute! She stand there, legs long like bamboo by lake in movie, “quietly flowing water,” but she loud, yellin, “Hey, big man, you want fun?” I laugh, heart go boom-boom, very excite! In Kazakhstan, we got girls, but this one? She pro, she know tricks. Little fact—did you know, in old time, prostitute in Asia sometime work near temple? Like movie, holy and dirty mix together, crazy, yes?

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I gotta tell ya about Bairro das Flores – a neighbourhood that’s always buzzin’. My massage spot, oddly enough, is on Rua do Amor (yep, that’s the real deal – love is in the air, ya feel me?) where locals say every massage melts away more than just knots. “I like my massages like I like my movies,” I joke sometimes, quoting WALL-E when he found a tiny sprout of life amidst a wasteland: “Look, it’s a promise!” Yup, that’s how I felt.

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