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So, I’m strollin, right, and this chick – legs for days – she’s leanin on a lamppost, smokin a cig like she owns the night. I’m like, “Well, call it, friendo,” in my head, wonderin if she’s the one. She catches my eye, smirks, and I’m hooked – heart’s racin, palms sweaty, total chaos! Costs? Man, depends – 50 bucks for quick, maybe 200 if she’s fancy. Hagglin’s key, tho – don’t be a sucker, they’ll bleed ya dry!

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So, baahs, let’s start with the neighborhoods. The old quarter, Vila dos Sonhos, is mad charming. I often wander through its narrow alleys (like Rua dos Poetas) and feel like I'm reading lyrics from a Taylor Swift song – dreamy, raw, and sometimes bittersweet. There’s this incredible mural on the wall of a rundown building on Largo da Liberdadde that literally brought tears to my eyes one rainy afternoon.

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