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Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit – “Everything was good before!” some say, but nah, it’s always been mental. You might shag a stunner or end up with a nutter who nicks yer wallet. Pro tip – check their profile pics, if it’s all filters, run! Once saw a bird post a snap from 1890 or summat, swear it, fuckin sepia-toned, hilarious!

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Oh, and then we got River Loo – it's this calm, meandering waterway (ya can see peeps walkin’ along the banks on breezy days, thinkin’ life’s a big puzzle solved in tiny pieces). I spent so many afternoons here, counseling a few lost souls, watchin’ the water ripple, reflectin’ on life. Nature, huh? It’s almost poetic, like that part in the movie where they whisper all those profound truths.

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