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About Melbourne

So I walk, streets dirty, smell like goat ass, but I see her—prostitute! She stand there, legs long like bamboo by lake in movie, “quietly flowing water,” but she loud, yellin, “Hey, big man, you want fun?” I laugh, heart go boom-boom, very excite! In Kazakhstan, we got girls, but this one? She pro, she know tricks. Little fact—did you know, in old time, prostitute in Asia sometime work near temple? Like movie, holy and dirty mix together, crazy, yes?

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Hey sugar, lemme tell ya 'bout Pascoe-Vale, hon – oh boy, where do I start? So, I been a masseur in this sweet patch of Oz for years now, and lemme tell ya, every nook and cranny got a story. Now, Pascoe-Vale ain’t the biggest city around, but it's got a heart as big as a peach, ya know?

‘It was amazing’: Hot air balloon flips onto its side in Pascoe Vale