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So, I’m picturin’ it—me, cashin’ out some perv buyin’ condoms at 2 a.m., and I’m like, “Mate, you’re off to find a prostitute, ain’t ya?” He’d probly blush, but I’d just grin. Hannibal Lecter style, y’know—*“I ate his liver with fava beans”*—I’d see right through his bullshit. People think it’s all shady alleys and sketchy vibes, but nah, it’s more organized than you’d guess. Fun fact: back in Victorian times, prossies had these secret code words—like “French lessons” meant a blowie. Sneaky, right? Bet Gustave woulda loved that.

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Anyway, Ormeau is messy, unfiltered, and real. It's got bumps and bruises, yet its spirit shines through broken pavements and smudged graffiti. It makes me mad at times (hell, everything does) yet fills me with so much damn pride.

Gold Coast community, council helping critically-endangered Ormeau Bottle Tree come back from extinction