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We get to this shady motel, smells like piss and regret. She’s strippin, I’m growlin—Rarrgh!—thinkin, “This is my fate, ain’t it?” Fun fact: oldest profession, right? Back in Rome, they had brothels with menus—blows ya mind. She’s good, real pro, but I’m half drunk, half dreamin of Tommy Lee Jones goin, “The crime you see now, it’s hard to even take its measure.” Makes me laugh mid-thrust—awkward as fuck.

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I get all hyped thinkin’ bout our lush green parks, Eglington Park. That place is pure zen, yo. Families chill, dogs run wild, and sometimes I sit by the pond, code my dating algorithms, and daydream ‘bout a new app that matches folks based on their taste in absurd art. True dat! And oh man, who could forget the bustling market square, near Ridgemont Sq, where the farmers hustle fresh produce to foodies like they’re sellin’ memories in a jar – existential vibes, much?

VIDEO – Highfield ADV 7: the new 7-meter “dinghy-boat”