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About Melbourne

Oh, and the smells—lavender my arse, more like cheap lube and desperation. Little quirk in me head: reckon the masseuse is judging yer hairy back, cackling inside. Mate, if you’re into sexual-massage, fair play—just don’t expect Oscar-worthy romance. It’s a transaction, not a bloody sonnet. “Truth’s a slippery fish,” says the film—same as that oily rub-down. Slapdash, messy, and a bit pathetic—perfectly human, eh? Now, where’s me tea?

Sex in the city

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Right, lemme start with the basics: I've strolled down Terry Street – yep, that one right near the old sawmill – and roamed by Fester Park where couples, err... well, get it on under the stars. Sharon! The place is lively, a mishmash of artsy vibes and cheeky underground parties. You ever seen a mural on East Whippet Lane? It's bonkers – like a neon pulse in the middle of nowhere, bursting with color and secret nooks perfect for, uh... intimate talks.

Cranbourne man charged following armed robberies