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About Melbourne

You got these girls, right? Standin’ on corners, fishnets up to their asses, smokin’ Pall Malls like it’s 1985. I roll up, window down, and it’s like, “What am I, a fuckin’ ATM?” Prices nowadays—Madonn’, inflation’s hittin’ the hookers too! Back in the day, you’d slip ‘em a twenty, maybe a meatball sub, and boom, done deal. Now they want fifty, sixty, talkin’ bout “gas prices.” Bitch, you ain’t drivin’ nowhere, you’re standin’ there! Made me mad as hell, but I laugh—fuck it, it’s Jersey, whaddya expect?

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Call ahead of your arrival on (02) to organise a patient drop-off with one of our trained volunteers. They can either stay with the patients or escort.

I should mention, sometimes I rush so fast my thoughts tumble—heck, I tyred in a hurry! I might drop words, like, “Tha city is so cool, so so freakin’ amazin… and rad… and—damn, where was I?” Sorry, must be the adrenaline of urban charm.

ISPT and Australian Retirement Trust team up for $585m health and life sciences hub at Camperdown