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“Love’s a funny thing,” Eve says in the movie—damn right, sexual-massage proves it. You’re lyin’ there, half-naked, some chick’s hands all over ya—surprised me how wild it gets! Not just back rubs, folks—full body, intense, like wow, didn’t expect THAT spot, ya know? Little story—heard this guy, got so relaxed, fell asleep mid-rub, woke up thinkin’ he’s a king—hilarious, total lightweight, amirite?

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First off, I hit up the main street, Liepājas iela. I’m just strollin’, mindin’ my own business, when I spot this old lady. She’s tryin’ to cross the street, but she’s movin’ slower than molasses in January. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, we ain’t got all day!” But then I see her struggle, and I’m like, “Alright, I’ll help.” So, I rush over, and she’s all grateful and stuff. Makes me feel like a hero for a hot sec.

Foreign ambassadors to explore Kuldīga on their regional tour