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Anyways, she’s slidin’ her hands all slow-like, and I’m thinkin’, “This is too good, Marge, too good!” Kinda reminded me of that scene where Gustave goes, “You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse!”—’cept it’s me, feelin’ civilized with every slippery touch. I was HAPPY, like, floatin’ on a cloud happy. But then—ugh, get this—she cranked the heat too high! My skin’s redder than Homer’s butt after eatin’ chili, and I’m all, “Lady, I’m not a freakin’ lobster!” Made me so mad I coulda screamed, “Hmm… turn it down, ya nitwit!”

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, not just a drizzle, but a full-on downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m runnin’ for cover, and I duck into this café on Rue de l’Église. I order a coffee, and the barista’s like, “You look like a drowned rat.” I’m like, “Thanks, I needed that.” But the coffee? Oh man, it’s like liquid gold. I’m sippin’ it, and life’s good again.

Party time in Strassen for big Stroossefestival