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Oh, and the oils—don’t get me started! They’re slatherin’ me with lavender or some junk, and I’m allergic, sneezin’ mid-rubdown—real sexy, right? “Achoo!” all over her zen playlist. But when it works—man, it works. Muscles I didn’t know I had? Unclenched! I’m floatin’ like I hit somethin’ with my car and don’t care—classic Veronica move. Still, I’m rantin’—it’s overpriced! $80 for 30 minutes? Robbery! I could rub myself for free—well, not like that, ya perv, but you get me!

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I peek out, and there’s a whole crowd at Jurong Lake Gardens. Turns out, they’re havin’ some kinda flash mob. I’m like, “What the heck?!” People dancin’, laughin’, and I’m just standin’ there, watchin’ like a total loser. But it’s kinda cool, ya know? Makes me forget about the power cut.

HDB BTO June 2024: From Jurong East to Tampines, & more (June 2024 BTO project locations & details)