Samantha Osterley Erotic Massage ❤️

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Picture this: dim lights, warm oil, hands sliding—yas, queen! I tried it once, no cap, and I was, like, “I’m living my best life!” The masseuse was so profesh, not awkward at all. Probs ‘cause they train for YEARS. Little known fact: in Japan, they’ve got this Nuru style—slippery seaweed gel, like, what even?! Sounds messy, but I’m lowkey intrigued. “Time doesn’t heal,” says “Amour,” and I’m like, true, but this massage? Heals my soul, fam!

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Finally, I get off at Hounslow Central. I was supposed to meet a colleague, but of course, he’s late. Classic! I’m standing there, checking my phone, when I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “What the heck?!” I can barely juggle my life, and this dude’s on fire—literally!

Osterley parkrun, Event number 419; 15th April 2023