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But yo, it ain’t all gold. Some creeps out there—catfishin’, ghostin’, pissin’ me off! Had this chick once, profile all sexy, then bam—dude shows up! I was like, “I pity the fool who thinks I’m that dumb!” Kicked his ass outta my garage quick. Still, when it works—damn, it’s fireworks! Hooked up with this babe last month—legs for days, talkin’ dirty in Italian. Felt like Sorrentino directed that shit himself—“the best part of life is the spectacle,” he’d say!

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So, I grab my coffee—thank God for caffeine, right?—and head to the loading dock. There’s this new guy, Marco. Nice kid, but he’s got the coordination of a baby giraffe. He’s trying to load crates, and they’re just falling everywhere. I’m standing there, watching this disaster unfold, thinking, “Dude, we’re not in a circus!”

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