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I got into it once, right? This chick, pro as hell, hands like a damn ninja—soft but firm, knew every spot. Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then—boom—she charged me triple! Pissed me off, man, greed’s good but not *that* good! I was like, “Lady, this ain’t Wall Street!” Still, I paid—worth it. Little-known fact: back in ancient China, emperors got these massages with jade rollers—fancy, right? Bet they quoted *The Assassin* too: “He moves like the wind.” That’s the vibe—smooth, deadly, sexy.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and boom! Right into my table. Coffee everywhere! I was like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just laughed and kept running. Kids, man. They’re either adorable or annoying. No in-between.

Israel's dead: The names of those killed in Hamas massacres and the Israel-Hamas war