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Oh, and the oils – mate, they smell lush, like flowers or summat, but one time, phew, stank like a V8 engine! Made me laugh, snortin’ like a twit – “Wot’s this, petrol rubdown?!” Total nutter moment, but I loved it. Personal quirk, right – I’d add guitar riffs to the playlist, get them hips swayin’. Exaggeratin’ now – imagine me, oiled up, slidin’ round the room like a bleedin’ chrome warrior! “Shiny and chrome!” – nah, more like shiny and clumsy, eh?

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Then, around 10, I get a call from this lady on Avenida da República. She’s all, “My neighbor’s music is too loud!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s 10 AM! What do you expect?” But she’s livid. I mean, I get it, but c’mon, it’s Valega! We’re known for our lively spirit, right? So, I tell her to maybe join the party instead of complaining. She didn’t find that funny. Oops.

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